Modern Castrato Victims. An SNL sketch afterthought.

It’s live, Saturday night in New York City with special guest host Ariana Grande, and as a long-time fan who loved her previous episodes, I had high expectations. Many of the skits left me in tears from laughter and, to this day, bobbing my head to some of the catchy tunes, but one sketch specifically left a great impression.

A sketch called Castrato told the tale and bleak history of young male singers who experienced genital mutilation before puberty to keep their prepubescent singing voice. As stated in the sketch, boys between the ages of 8 and 10 would be placed in an opium-induced coma where they would undergo the procedure of having their testicles twisted until they atrophied. Many boys would die during this operation or days after while trying to recover. For those that would survive the operation, they were permanently young forever.

Of course, this was a horrific part of history that is no longer in practice… But, if it were, who would be a modern-day victim?

Some of the obvious suspects would be singers such as Aaron Carter, Grayson Chance, and Michael Jackson, but the one I think would be most prolific would be Justin Bieber. The young stardom and tiny prepubescent voice would be the most obvious of a snatch up and making forever young. Just to imagine the same voice singing hits like One Time would also be singing Yummy, which is enough to send me into a spiral. I also think that, unfortunately, at least for a couple of singers on this list, the parents or guardianship of the individuals are less than responsible or always looking out for the child's best interest. It’s not only a question of what teeny tiny voice would be adorably stuck in their childlike octave but who would also have a parent/guardian that would be down with subjecting their child to the operation.

Thankfully, this is no longer and hasn’t been for years, a viable or legal practice, but history is such an interesting and scary thing. All soprano boys can sleep soundly tonight.